Faith in the Fallouts

I had a friend once who made a large impact on my life. Both positive and negative. They were the kind of person who could make the room lighter just by being in it, who knew how to make me laugh on days I was mad at the world. For a long time, I thought that kind of connection meant safety, that closeness automatically carried care with it.

But somewhere along the way in our friendship, things shifted. What once felt supportive began to feel heavy, and silence said more than words ever did. I found myself replaying moments in my head, wondering where the line had been crosses, or if it had always been there and I had simply chosen not to see it.

The hardest part wasn’t losing the friendship itself; it was losing the version of myself that existed within it. I waited for an apology that never came. One that I begged for, and I began to allow myself to believe I didn’t deserve it once it wasn’t given. Nothing brought closure, nothing made sense. I carried the hurt with me, convincing myself that forvigness without an apology was just another betrayal to myself; it didn’t seem fair.

What I eventually learned is that forgiveness isn’t about excusing what happened or pretending that my feelings weren’t hurt. It is about choosing to stop letting the weight of someones actions define me and who I am. Forgiveness, without an apology, became less about them and who they are and more about reclaiming my own peace. I wanted my life back, and I wanted to do it in a way that would reflect the Lord.

I can still find myself angry and upset at points, but part of forgiving is having to do it over and over again, until it fully sticks, and one day, the only thing you have is peace. Two very prominent positives come from forgiveness. 1. You become more like Jesus, as forgiveness is a characteristic of our Lord and Savior, and 2. you start to let go of the situation you need to forgive instead of letting it constantly nag at you. Without forgiveness, you’ll only continue to constantly be angry, hurt, and upset.

It is going to be hard, believe me, I know. When someone you love deeply hurts you, it feels impossible to forgive them. My best tip is to pray for the person who has caused you pain, and know that you have a God who will be there the entire journey it takes to forgive someone.

You are so, so loved! Have a great weekend!